Music

        All my life I have loved music. I remember driving home from a day out boating and falling asleep on the speaker box in my dad's truck. No matter the circumstance if I have good music to loose myself in it seems the equivalent of a good therapy session. Yesterday as I was attempting productive cleaning and listening to the Ipod I was reminded of all the dance parties Aidan and I had. He loved music as much as I do, although most of the time he wanted a tune to rock out to! I wonder if he knew just how much happiness he inspired with his dancing.
     I have learned music can get me through the roughest days. Looking back in life this has always been the case for me. First heartache really equals a Bon Jovi album...no judgements please I was a teenager! I can remember great times in high school rockin out to AC DC, which lets be honest who doesn't love them? A very scary car accident is replayed for me with the song Strawberry wine that played as the ambulance drove me to the ER.
     As many of you watched a wonderful movie of just a few of Aidan's great memories at his "birthday party" you already know one of the songs that conjures memories of Aid's super sweet moves. Blackeyed Peas "Imma be" or as Aidan called it "Bummble Bee". After Aidan watching the music video at least a million times, I think part of the draw to the song was Fergie walking around in a swim suit, but Aid also loved a good base beat he good grove to.
     When I worked in the SICU I remember a few times patients, mostly younger having their Ipods. I can only imagine some of the horrific pain they endured but I know the music helped to ease their hurt and provide a much needed distraction. Before we left for Chicago Ryan and I found Aid a perfect set of headphones. I know how hard it is to keep a three year old in bed even right out of surgery! We figured if Aid didn't want to watch shows he could at least listen to music. If only we had the opportunity to use our super distraction! The last while for me has been difficult to listen to any sort of sad song or even a love song without completely loosing it. The words seem to resonate in my bones and pull the hurt out of places I never knew I had.
     In my quest for new music I found a new"ish" group. The Band Perry has a song that I couldn't quite get through the first few times. "If I die young" is the name of the song. Now, if I was at all tech savy I would link it up to the blog, but we all know that's not happening! So when you have a second give it a listen, just don't say I didn't warn you because the words hit home for me right now.
     I wish so hard there was some way to make the hurt a little less, for me and for everyone else feeling the loss of such an amazing little life. It is a little over two months now and I still wake up expecting his little foot in my face! There is not a single second in the day I don't miss Aidan or wish he was here with me to push me a little further. Music is a small step in my healing process. I hope I can offer the same crutch to anyone else enduring our pain.